Quantitative Easing Explained again!

7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant

1. Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal. Over the years, I’ve seen a pet on a passenger’s lap, a pet tucked into a seatback pocket, and a pet loose in the aisle (I nearly hit one with my beverage cart). All of this is against federal regulations. People tell me how well-behaved their pet is, but they can’t follow the rules themselves! Your pet must stay in its carrier while you’re on the plane. Yes, even if you’ve paid a “pet-in-cabin” fee.

2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane. You think you’re clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you’re selfishly inconveniencing others. I can’t lie and say we flight attendants don’t take some small satisfaction when we tell you, “We couldn’t identify the bag’s owner, so we sent it to cargo.” It’s a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don’t look so shocked when we say, “The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there.”

3. Think that because you’re on an airplane you’re off-duty as a parent. Stop expecting us to have spare diapers, formula, medicine, toys, playing cards, or batteries for DVD players or Game Boys. It’s an airplane, not a 7-11. Take your kid to the restroom before you board. Leave the dry cereal and Legos at home and bring snacks and toys for your kids that won’t make a horrible mess.

4. Drag on an oversize bag that’s too heavy for you to lift by yourself. I won’t be compensated for any injuries I might sustain if I heft your bag into the overhead compartment for you. (And other passengers shouldn’t have to step up and take the risk either.) The guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. Try this at home as a test (and this is to you ladies, especially): After you’ve packed your bag, put on the shoes you plan to wear on the plane and see if you can lift your bag and place it on top of your refrigerator. You can’t? Pay the fee and check the bag.

5. Gripe that you haven’t been seated in a roomy exit-row seat. The exit rows weren’t created as a reward for people who are tall, overweight, or just plain nice. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. The people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, open the emergency door, and help others. I prefer to see uniformed military, firefighters, law-enforcement officers, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final determination about who gets to sit in them. And the quality of our choices is one of the frequent concerns of Federal Aviation Administration officials when they audit airlines for safety practices. So please don’t complain. I’m just doing my job.

6. Act like you don’t know the meaning of the words “under the seat in front of you.” Someday I will be muttering “under the seat in front of you” in the old-age home for flight attendants. What is it that you don’t understand? To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool, in the open seat next to you, or in your lap. It’s under the seat in front of you. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And while I’m on the topic: Please don’t wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there’s no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?

7. Whine about the high price of flying. When I hear people complain about coach airfares, I know they’re not keeping up with the news. Fares have rarely been cheaper. In recent years, it’s not uncommon for you to be able to cross the continent for under $130 each way, with a maximum of one layover. It’s a bargain! At that price, you’re barely paying for the fuel to get your body there—never mind the cost of shipping your 50 pounds of gear. You’re already on the gravy plane. People point to first class ticket holders and want to know why they don’t get the same treatment. Wake up folks: You’re getting a great deal. If you want even more, pay more!

Domestic safety alert: 500 Americans will be killed by guns this week in the USA. For safety, we advise taking loved ones to a safer country such as Mexico. (This is true. Five hundred Americans were killed by guns last week in the USA. An average of 500 Americans were killed every week in the last year. Officials are perplexed why no one seems to care in the USA). And furthermore, 200 Americans will be killed by drunk drivers in the USA next week (12,000 died in alcohol-related accidents in the USA last year…a typical year).

So, if you’re considering a vacation south of the border, you must be aware the US has issued a “Travel Alert,” warning citizens to be “vigilant” in Mexico. The alert says little beyond the world is a dangerous place. And I knew that already…however, we can’t live our lives in a culture of fear.  If you really read the alert, it advises people to stay away from certain hot spots close the border and to scram if they see violence…always common sense, even without a government alert.

Of course, in the tourism arena, we are paying close attention to the news and don’t want to belittle a possible threat. But, as always, we urge our travelers to keep things in perspective. Each year 12 million Americans travel to Mexico and 12 million return home safely. I can’t remember the last time an American tourist in Mexico was hurt in the mist of the crackdown on the drug cartels. On the other hand, every year another 30,000 die in the USA — victims of gun violence (this is twenty times the per-capita gun-caused deaths in Mexico).

Assuming you believe in statistics — regardless of what the news headlines say — we have one strong piece of advice that could very well save lives: If you care about your loved ones, you’ll take them to Mexico as soon as possible….it’s much safer over there.

Even if there was an incident where Americans died in some random act of violence in Mexico tomorrow, I’d say exactly the same thing. I refuse to let fear and fear-mongering media mess up my perspective. And, as a patriotic American citizen, I know the best thing I can do to keep my country strong and safe is to travel a lot, engage in the world, and return home with the good news: Life is good, and fear is for people who don’t get out much.

By Lola
What if CNN headlines blared “Drug Violence Claims 4 Lives In Popular Vacation Destination” every time a gang-banger (any color, any race) shot up a rival gang’s sidewalk in Los Angeles? What if Fox News ran a constant ticker that read “Murder Chose Chicago 131 Times This Year” and held forms discussing why the city should be boycotted? (In fact, September in that city ended last week with 30 homicides. Nearly 20% of the victims were teens.) Should travel warnings be issued for the Windy City? Should we close up California because, according to the LAPD, even though overall gang crimes fell 12.2 percent, 31 more people were shot [this year] in suspected gang crimes, an increase of 4.9 percent?
I wouldn’t be lying if I said the US has more violence than other first-world countries—and that’s been a fact even before drug use in this country escalated to the point where every enterprising dealer south of the border wanted a piece of the action. We have more robberies, rapes and assaults here. We glorify violence in our movies and our TV shows. We breed serial killers. Meth labs are popping up like daisies in the suburbs (and we all know how sweet and mellow meth-heads can be). We are now even venturing into suicide promotion with the sudden spike of bullying in our schools.
So… honestly. Where are our travel warnings?
Are you mad yet? You should be. This is a great country. It’s a beautiful country. And if you stay away from the scary section of town, if you don’t deal drugs, if you aren’t a hooker and you steer clear of shady bars, chances are you’ll have a ball and be safe as houses in every city, coast to coast. It’s not a guarantee, though, because even in this great nation of ours, innocent lives have been claimed in crossfire. But the police scanners certainly won’t keep me from enjoying the fall weather along the Navy Pier in Chicago or spending a weekend of pure fun in Los Angeles.
So why should I cancel my visit to Puerto Vallarta? Or forget my plans to visit Mexico City for a week?
I shouldn’t. And neither should you.
Yes, be careful. Yes, take normal precautions. No, don’t go to the locus of the cartels for a drive or a drink.
I know I’m not the only one out there who thinks this way. I’m not a lone voice in the wilderness, but sometimes it sure feels that way. So, I’m doing what I can with the tools I have.
Here are just a couple of links from like-minded people. I know there are many more of you out there. Raise your voice. Let it be heard. Thousands upon thousands of people in Mexico depend on tourism for their livelihood. People who can’t feed their children become desperate. And we all know about desperate people. Please help reverse this desperation by looking beyond the headlines.
Thanks for your time.
Lola